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mymindisfine

What's on YOUR mind?

‘Tis the season, but it sure doesn’t feel like it. Maybe it’s because here in Ottawa, there is a thin, practically non-existant layer of snow that just fell yesterday and doesn’t even promise to still be here tomorrow.  It’s something that we sure aren’t used to.  Usually there are heaps of snow that started falling as early as Halloween. But something is telling me that this isn’t the reason I’m still having a difficult time getting up for Christmas.

Maybe I’m just getting older and it’s more difficult to become excited for these things. I’m only 19 though. If one of the usually greatest times of year is now just another day for me, what do I have to look forward to in my life? It’s pessimistic but it could be right on the point. Whereas before the flood of Christmas music on the radio for the past month might have given me that feeling that this most joyous of all days was fast approaching, this year I’ve just become frustrated and changed the station.

Sure, I get to see my family on Christmas day. That’s great. I see them all the time though. Maybe there would be more novelty to this jolly-ass season if I only saw my extended family once or twice a year. Instead it’s just like, oh great, another chance to see my family. After the Christmas visits that have happened in the last few weeks, it’s only been a matter of days since I’ve seen them all.

The presents have shrunk in size over the years, and although the value of them may not have diminished, it’s not the same feeling when I look at our Christmas tree and see only a few presents. I wonder if my parents will decide to just not get a Christmas tree because soon we’ll all be getting gift cards. A bunch of envelopes under a pine tree in the living room isn’t exactly festive.

Maybe the thing I’m most excited about this Christmas is the fact that I don’t have to work that day. For once a holiday actually falls on the day I would have been working so I can benefit from a day of rest – even if I don’t end up spending the day the way I would have liked (oh well).

We have a tradition at my house that I’m starting to wonder if we’ll ever grow out of. My sister is 21 and my little brother is 15, and not quite so little anymore. He’s almost as tall as me now. But yet we still have “agreed,” if you can call it that, to wake up at the now LATE time of 7:30am (which is up from 7am last year) to wake up our parents and open presents. This used to take us close to an hour to finish – I suspect that this year it will take a mere 10 minutes, at most. I should probably move out (there, I said it).

Whatever the case, this Christmas I’ll be eating more than I should. Fuck my diet for tomorrow. And on Monday I’ll be sleeping in to make up for lost time that I spent in a cranky Christmas morning rage the day before, too full of the Italian feast I just ate to do anything. I will sit on the couch and revel in the real entertainment of the World Juniors that starts Monday. That should be the real celebration this time of year. Christmas is old news.

How do you feel about Christmas?

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